#I don’t know what I’ll do with myself at this point I have 0 plans | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

freshfraise · 2 years ago

Note

hiii i would love if you cpuld write something about pool sex with richarlison

FULL OF SURPRISES

pairing: richarlison x reader

summary: Y/N is lavishly flown to Qatar to accompany her industrious boyfriend in the World Cup. When Richarlison finally manages to get an evening off his busy schedule, he makes sure not to waste a second more away from his solicitous girlfriend, whose mind is occupied by one shameless scenario. Him, her and their massive private pool.

author’s note: (part 2) how is it possible to fall in love with someone i wrote? enjoy :) + apologies for any bad portuguese

My boyfriend was hot. I always knew that and now, everybody else did too. Ever since the World cup started, Richarlison was fostering an unbelievable amount of attention from women and girls across the world, and not only just for his looks but for his prodigious football skills, which consequently made him even hotter. Attractive and great at his profession? It was simply too much for me to handle. I was conflicted. Ever since we landed in Qatar, Richarlison has been fully committed to training and preparing himself for his upcoming games. Although I was so proud, I was becoming restless, dangerously restless. Laying around in this opulent hotel room surprisingly got boring very quickly, as there wasn’t that much I could do without compromising my safety and being bombarded by the paparazzi stationed outside the hotel.

I hated being needy, but my needs slowly began to become uncontrollable. Realising the match against Serbia was in a couple hours, I decided to text him and make a deal.

From Me.

“score for me tonight, and i’ll give you my own special celebration at the hotel?”

From Meu coração (Richarlison)

“Bebê…”

From Meu coração (Richarlison)

Obrigado pela pressão!! 🙄 (Thank you for the pressure.) Now I have to score, I will never forgive myself If I don’t

From Me.

then you know what you have to do ;) good luck amor, eu te amo xx

From Meu coração (Richarlison)

Eu te amo mais, até breve (I love you more, see you soon)

I smile at myself, successfully managing to get a night alone with him. My mind went crazy at the amount of things we could do tonight, making up for all that lost time. Eventually, the game came around and I was elated. Our seats were close to the match, so I made sure to give him a sweet reminder of our deal tonight. I decided to press my curls spontaneously, giving me a silky jet black look. My hair was parted in the middle, and stopped at the cuff of my Brazil jersey. I felt ready.

Before I even realised, it was already 1 - 0 to Brazil, scored by the man himself, Richarlison. I smiled to myself as he pointed to me in the stands, nobody other than us knowing what this meant for our evening plans. Within minutes, the ball was assisted to Richarlison before he kicked it back up in the air, moved his legs in a pedalling motion and struck the ball in midair. I jumped up, as his goal hit the back of the net. I yelled, jumping up and down at his phenomenal goal with the whole stadium essentially shaking in astonishment. Goosebumps pricked my skin, as he ran around the pitch, before he stopped at my section, held up two fingers whilst mouthing to me “Dupla surpresa?”(Double surprise?) and then got bombarded by his teammates as they collided into him in celebration. I rolled my eyes at his understandable cockiness and bit my lip instinctually, feeling more attracted to him than ever.

Eventually, the match ended and I essentially ran back to the hotel, getting ready for tonight. I pull out my phone as I walk into the elevator, going up to the suite, and decide to send him an update.

From Me.

well done meu amor, meet me in the pool tonight..

I pulled my black bikini on and put my hair up into a sleek bun with a couple strands out to frame my face, with a faint red lip on. The pool faced the city, with a massive glass window on one side, showing both tall palm trees and ingenious skyscrapers. The pool lights illuminated the place and left the area extremely dim, as the sun set hours ago. He peeks out of the corner, and I’m greeted with an extravagant amount of red roses. A grin is plastered on my face as the bouquet is so large that it covers his face. I push the roses down so I can see him, as he tells me, “Para você, minha princesa.” (For you, my princess.) I lean forward and smell them, my smile growing larger at the fresh sweet smell of red roses. I take them, and gently place them on a table behind me before I practically pounce on my boyfriend. I jumped on him, my legs tightly wrapped around his waist and my hands tangled up in his hair. I whisper a phrase of gratitude, genuinely thankful of his surprising choice with the red roses. They were gorgeous.

#richarlison imagine #richarlison #richarlison one shot #football #football imagines #imagines #brazil #brazil football #richarlison smut #oneshot #football fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #brazil vs serbia #neymar jr #footballer #fifa world cup #world cup

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

Note

WIBTA if I move into my own apartment for an internship instead of with friends like I initially said I (more likely than not) would for a while?

CW: kinda long but I don’t think I can put a readmore on anon :(

I (20sNB) have an opportunity to do an internship in spring of 2024. My friend (20sF) and her husband (20sM, we’re all within ~3yrs of each other) have been working on renovating a single-wide trailer in a trailer park in the same town as the internship, and it will be done with them living in it for at least a good few months before my internship. I’ve helped them with renovations whenever I’m in town and they’ve promised/shown me the room they’re reserving to be my space because they’re so sure I’ll move in with them.

I’ll be honest, I was planning to at first. But that changed with a variety of factors contributing, including but not limited to:

The trailer was reportedly full of black mold. Abandoned dressers would be opened and a puff of mold dust would emerge from the doors. It was also previously a hoarder’s house possibly due to the amount of junk in and around the trailer. Nobody wore PPE during renovations as far as I’m aware, and seem to believe they’re “in the clear” as they’ve shown no side effects yet. They’ve literally kept up only exactly what’s required to legally say they’re ‘renovating’ instead of tearing everything down and reusing the foundation, but it’s still a concern for me due to the casual way it was brought up and addressed.

My friends admitted that the neighbors don’t like them much due to the loud noises day in and day out from the renovation, resulting in the cops being called on them several times as a noise complaint. I have a rough time as it is being close to strangers, and that anxiety/paranoia? isn’t alleviated by hearing that and seeing people come out of their own trailers to glare at us whenever we work on the property.

My cat (20F) would be moving in with me. She’s indoor-only, but cats are bound to run around at some point. There are numerous unvaccinated and unfixed strays in the park and I’m concerned for her health; she’s having a hard enough time just keeping down food, a virus or infection would make me put her down.

My friends own a Pomeranian that does not respect other animals and continuously harasses them by barking and chasing after them. My cat does NOT like dogs, and my repeated warnings that having them in the same room would result in the dog getting blinded and possibly even more severely injured have been waved away with “The dog will learn soon enough to leave her alone!”. I would also have two relatively small lizards with me, both of whom leave their terrariums regularly for general holding sessions and to run around while I clean their tanks. There is a nonzero chance of them being beyond the safety of the glass and the dog eating them as the dog has a high prey drive.

Being with them would save me and my parents MASSIVE amount of money as rent is nearly nonexistent with how low it is in the park; I would mostly help with other bills (such as water, electricity, groceries) and general housemate things like cleaning up after myself and helping cook or chip in for takeout every now and then. Both friends know how restricted my ability to really develop is in my house due to my family (such as not knowing how to make anything more complicated than air fryer food) and have expressed that they are eager to help me learn and watch me grow into who I am.

But for a while I’ve been very strongly leaning towards an apartment instead despite rent being crazy (my parents are willing to pay half but with 0 guarantee of a paid internship and uncertainty as to whether I can hold a part-time job at the same time it would still be a blow to my savings). It’s gotten to the point where my language is full of “My future apartment will have….” “When I move into an apartment do you think I should….” when discussing the matter with my parents with zero verbal room for considering living with my friends. Advantages to the apartment include having my own space, being much closer to my internship location (though my friends weren’t all that far out themselves), and no concerns about my pets being around strangers or other animals. My parents and grandma agree that an apartment sounds the safest for my pets’ physical health and my mental health.

However, I have yet to tell my friends. The F is a friend of a decade now, and the M and I aren’t exactly close but regard each other as siblings. While she might be hurt but understanding, I don’t know if I want to risk him or both of them blowing up on me for my decision after at least 6mo of helping here and there and encouraging them to finish renovating their own place. The closest I’ve gotten to saying anything is warning them that it isn’t guaranteed I’ll move in with them when they use language suggesting it is and that I’m trying to keep my mind open to all housing options, including renting a space in a family friend’s basement. Neither of them seem to have caught on to what I’m doing, though. So, WIBTA if I finally break it to them that I’ve decided on an apartment and move into a space without them? This might seem like a non-issue to outsiders but it very much is to me :(

(For slight additional context: my friend is typically very understanding and we do our best to communicate our feelings about joint activities especially. Her husband is the type of guy to get mad at the ‘politics’ of the new Barbie movie and the joke made out of the Kens.)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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deuxcherise · 3 months ago

Text

Collar Crimes: Self-Preservations

C/w: Unhealthy behavior, OCs, yandere male, tsundere male, kidnapping, violence against doors, slight fluff (?), slight comfort (?), reader insert, gender neutral reader, includes a picture of cutting board with fruits and a knife (you’ll see why~).

A/n: So! Back with another chapter for Collar Crimes. I had a plan originally to introduce another yandere in this chapter, but the build-up here is quite delicious in my opinion so I’ll save the introduction for whenever the time comes. Basically a tiny time-skip from the last chapter because I was thinking that the problem was that everything that was happening to you, the reader, takes too little time between each “event” so to speak, so yeah! Also exploring some of your personal life outside of Eris and friends. Enjoy~!

Masterlist | Part 0, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (1/2), Part 3 (2/2), Part 4, Part 5 (you’re here!), Part 6

It has been a month since the Family Portrait incident and life has returned to normality…

But what would be considered abnormal at this point?

Briiing! Briiing! Tch.

“Hello~ This is Lychee speaking~ How may I sweeten up your day today?” you sing into the phone.

“Sweetheart~ I’ve missed you sooooo much!” the caller answers.

Although no one except for your coworkers can see your face, you resist the urge to roll your eyes at yet another cringey lovey-dovey line of your newest client. You have been called a variety of things such as “darling”, “honey”, “sweetie”, “sweet talker”, “beautiful”, “my special”, “youngster”, “lady”, “sir”, “ma’am”, “dadd— sometimes vulgar things you do not wish to recall at the moment. Whatever the customer wants, the customer gets— aka whatever pays the bills.

Of course, your mind echoes, no one could beat the way Eris calls you “love-”

You bang your head on your desk. The current caller on the line worriedly exclaim, “S-sweetheart? What was that?”

You clear your throat, pressing against the sore area on your forehead. “Nothing at all, dear~ I just accidentally dropped a heavy stapler. It’s been a long day, ah…”

“Aww~ My sweetheart is working so hard… I’ll tell you what. Tonight, I’ll take you to the fanciest restaurant in the city, okay? My treat.”

Wow. Such a grand gesture. This client really has a savior complex. Kind of like- “Ehhh? Don’t worry about it. And besides, I’m working pretty late tonight so… ”

“Noooo! You can’t refuse,” your client says. “I’ll march right up to your company and kidnap you away myself if I have to.”

“Pffft. Don’t make that kind of joke, Ren,” you fake laugh. If only the police were more reliable in this godforsaken city…

“Ah~ I really like it when you say my name. Do it again.”

“Ren?”

“Again. But more lovely.”

“Ren~” you repeat with a soft and breathy tone.

The caller on the phone giggles manically before they bid you goodbye with lots of kisses and other corny romantic lines. You hang up the phone and give a sigh as you slouch back against your chair. One of your coworkers leans back far on her own chair to show her face past the divider between your desks.

“Long day?” she sings.

Eye closed, you nod. “Mmhm.”

“.....”

Sensing eyes on you, you open your own and turn towards your coworker, who looks like she’s about to burst. Eyebrows raised, you ask with amusement in your voice, “Yes, Cherry?”

She puckers up her lip, humming, “Mmm… ya know~ The usual? Can I? Please?”

You mentally prepare yourself and shrug. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Yay!” She celebrates with both arms raised before she takes a deep breath. “So-”

-----

“-or not? Like how do I know if she really loves me? What do you think, (Y/n)?”

Truth be told, you might have zoned out after twenty minutes before zoning back in during the last few minutes of the hour-long rant. Somehow, there wasn’t a call during the entire time, though your shifts are almost over. “Uh… so what’s the problem again? Didn’t she already agree to date you?”

“I know,” Cherry insists, throwing her hands up in defeat. “But I'm still so worried. Like what if she looks at someone else and finds them better than me? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPARE??? SHE IS A GODDESS, I TELL YOU. I AM NOTHING BUT A LOWLY BUG THAT SHE NEEDS TO STEP ON OR SO HELP ME-”

You keep silent as she releases her passion out loud, much to the detriment of your other coworkers. Your other adjacent coworker, Azure, sitting on your other side, leans back on his chair to join the conversation. “Hey, Cherry. If you’re this crazy about your girlfriend now, what’s gonna happen when you finally marry her?” he chuckles.

A glint appears in her eyes, accompanied by tears beading at the bottom of her eyes and a strangely, crooked smile on her lips. “Oh… well… If I had it my way, I’d lock her up with me in our house and we’d stay in bed all day. Just me and my honey~ Isn’t that a wonderful idea?”

Old memories of a familiar dynamic bleed into your head, sending a shiver up your spine. “That’s a horrible idea,” you want to comment, but your voice doesn’t leave your tightened throat. Instead, what comes out is: “Uh… uh…

“Doesn’t your girlfriend like being outside though?” Azure points out. “If you keep her inside all day, she might come to hate you.”

Cherry’s maniacal face shatters into terror. “I…” Her pupils begin to tremble. “Could that happen?”

“Oh, absolutely. If you love someone, you have to let them have the freedom to roam as they please.” His voice then becomes more dark and gravelly. “That being said, it is a given that you must punish them if they stray too far. That’s why when I find someone one day, I’ll make sure they know they’re on an extended leash…”

You open your mouth to retort, but you start to wonder if perhaps you were born unlucky. Lately, you’ve realized that you might be some kind of magnet for weirdos. Speaking of weirdos, ever since Eris took his friend to the nearest hospital to get treated for a possible concussion, you haven’t seen him around. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t been around your home, seeing as your fridge is still stocked with fresh meals and there’s not a speck of dust to be seen in any of the rooms, but the lack of his dopey smiling face is concerning.

…..

You scoff. Regardless, it’s not like anything would change even if he did show up like he used to. It would just be annoying to have to endure his warm hugs and sweet whispers again…

“(Y/n)!?” Cherry shrieks after you bang your head on your desk again.

Azure snickers. “You must be thinking of lover boy, huh?”

You glare at him through your eyes and voice, your ever-present blank expression lending no assistance. “No. Say that again and I’ll rip out your tongue, Blueberry.”

You can visibly see his shoulders shake as he smirks, containing his laughter. “I really can’t take you seriously when you have such a straight face.” He settles down with an amused sigh, a look of concern replacing his smirk. “But seriously, you seem kind of… I dunno. Out of it lately.”

You wrinkle your eyebrows. “... Really?”

“Yeah! Azure’s right. Even your Lychee voice is lacking that… that sparkle-sparkle quality,” Cherry adds, mimicking fireworks with her hands. “Are you okay, (Y/n)? You’re even banging your head…” Her red eyes go wide. “You’re not trying to erase memories of those perverted callers, are you!? THERE ARE BETTER WAYS-”

“I’m sure that’s not what (Y/n)’s trying to do, right? ‘Cause if you need forgetting,” Azure says, patting your back before taking out a black bat with skulls and x’s patterned all over it from under his desk, “all you just need to do is ask. I’ll help you out for free, courtesy as a fellow Fruity Friend~”

“Yeah…” You ignore the happy-murderer look on Azure’s face, sit up straight, and place both of your hands on your desk with determination. “You know what? I think I need a vacation.”

Cherry and Azure gasp. “A vacation!?”

Indeed… You stand up from your desk with such vigor before walking straight towards the manager’s office. A vacation is exactly what you need. Away from work. Away from your apartment. Away from all of these crazy people!!!

-----

“YOU CAN’T, (Y/N)! PLEASE, YOU CAN’T GO ON VACATION. YOU’RE ONE OF OUR BEST CALLERS! Y-YOU KNOW WHAT?? HOW ABOUT I RAISE YOUR SALARY, HUH?”

You click your tongue. “You can’t buy me with mon-”

“I’ll raise your salary to XXXXXX.”

“.....”

-----

You close the office door behind you with a sigh. Looking next to you, you find Cherry and Azure waiting with bated breath, making the questioning gesture with their palms up to receive the verdict.

“So?” Cherry speaks, her pouty lips making an ‘o’.

You simply answer with a shrug, “I got a pay raise.”

The two of them drop their arms and groan. “I knew it,” Azure sighs, burying his face in his hands. “The money’s too good to quit!”

While you failed to acquire approval for vacation, you’re not feeling too bad considering your income has just upgraded from rent money and leftover takeout to rent money and luxurious restaurant dine-in and leftovers. Though, with your fridge stocked, you suppose you could apply the extra funds towards other things…

But what things? you wonder. Other than a place to live, something to eat, and the bathroom, there is not much you desire. Once upon a time, you would’ve desired owning luxury brands and all that stuff but… you found out the hard way that all the sparkling opulence in the world couldn’t afford you any warmth and comfort in a cold, restrictive home.

Out of an old habit you haven’t gotten rid of, you start to caress your left ring finger with your right index and thumb. “Riiight?” you agree, bitterly.

-----

With the end of the work day, employees of Fruity Friends bid their adieus to each other and set forth home or to an outing. You, Azure, and Cherry head out of the doors of your company building and down the stairs onto the sidewalk.

“C’mooon! Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Cherry whines, behind you with hands on your shoulders.

“Yeah, gonna go home,” you answer. “Wanna sleep.”

Azure snickers on the side. “What are you? A senior citizen?”

“Hardy har har,” you laugh unenthusiastically, gently brushing Cherry’s hands off your shoulder. “You guys go on ahead without me, okay? Have fun.”

At that moment, a black limousine with tinted black windows drives up the curb and stops into front of you three. The chauffeur comes out, a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair, dressed in a fancy chauffeur outfit, and gestures towards you before greeting, “Good afternoon, dear esteemed guest of the Ermine Family. We are here to escort you to your dinner reservation with our eldest son, Eris Ermine.”

You stare like a deer in headlights. “Huh?”

Azure and Cherry look between you and the chauffeur before teasing you with an, “Ooooooh!”

“Wow~ fancy, fancy~” Cherry nudges you with her elbow.

“Got a dinner date with lover boy, huh~?” Azure nudges you on your other side.

They said Eris, but… “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person,” you say, jabbing your coworkers with your own elbows at their sides to make them stop.

The chauffeur shakes his head. “I do believe we have the right person. You are (Y/n) (M/n) (L/n), are you not?”

You almost click your tongue, but don’t out of manners. You haven’t seen that stupid guy in over a month and now he suddenly sends someone to pick you up? That’s so… unlike him.

“I’m not. I’ve been mistaken for that person before. Good day,” you say, dragging your coworkers off. Your coworkers luckily get the memo and decide to go along quietly.

“My deepest apologies, dear (L/n),” the chauffeur says, pulling the visor of his hat slightly downward. “I was informed by Mr. Ermine that if you do not come willingly, we are required to use force if needed.”

Upon hearing those words, you swerve your head around just to witness your coworkers collapse to the ground. Little darts are embedded into their necks. Before you can scream or make a move, gloved arms cover your mouth and wrap around your body, lifting you up into the air and towards the limousine. Struggle as you might, your punches and kicks have no effect on the kidnappers and you are immediately thrown into the backseat of the vehicle. The door is slammed shut and the push button is lowered, locking you inside. You hear the chauffeur getting to the driver’s seat. Making a last ditch attempt, you throw yourself against the windows, any windows, but your effort is vain and all you end up with are two bruised shoulders. You turn towards the front dividers separating you and the chauffeur, screaming, “LET ME OUT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I- I- I'LL-”

“Apologies,” the chauffeur merely says, before he drives you off to who knows where. “This is just business.”

-----🔔-----

For unsuspecting visitors who dare set foot in the city of Agobury, it is highly advised to pay close attention to where their foot lands. Else they find themselves six feet underground.

Of course, as humor goes, there is no clear differentiation between the streets. It is often said that only those born and raised in Agobury can survive in Agobury. And those who used to live in Agobury… don’t live anywhere else, if one understands rightly.

However, if one somehow manages to succeed in making a living in Agobury, then it is often said that they have made a deal with the Devil. The May Devils, to be exact, who are rumored to own more than half of the city. The other half is scattered between smaller organizations, but they too warrant respect or fear by their own right.

“Or so they say,” Ollie murmurs, arms crossed as he leans against the wall.

He stands up and straight and looks at his best friend humming a tune while placing a tin full of batter into the oven. The image of Eris dressed up in a pink apron decorated with red hearts and matching oven mitts goes against Eris’s original image, prompting him to demand, “What the hell are you doing? Training to be a malewife or something?”

Eris snaps out of his daydreams and looks over with a bright smile. “Hm? Oh! Nah, I suggested that to my lover already and they refused. I'm just baking a cake for my six-month relationship milestone~”

“Oh.” Ollie deadpans. “That's a thing?”

“Uh, yeah?” Eris answers as if Ollie just asked if the sky was blue. He takes off his oven mitts and tosses them on the counter before preparing the washed fruits on a cutting board. “So make sure your men take extra care in delivering this one, mkay? I'll kill them if my lover gets a mess.”

How is Eris acting like he hasn't been imprisoned behind several reinforced steel doors in one of the May Devils’ homes for the past month? For the last four weeks, he’s been making what used to be an empty stone-covered haunted looking basement into a cozy home for himself and having Ollie deliver the goods secretly, out of the May Devils’ sight. To be fair, those mafioso probably gave the weasel some furniture and a usable kitchen just to keep the violent man occupied and placated with the lack of windows and any access to the outside world. Actually, the better question would be-

“Why haven’t you broken out yet instead of decorating this place and baking cakes?” Ollie asks. “I thought you'd put up more of a fight.”

Eris pops a blueberry into his mouth to test out if it's sweet or not. Finding it at the right level of sweetness, he hums in delight as he imagines you happily enjoying this same sweetness.

“Oh, that. Your parents visited me a few days ago and gave some advice. They said that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I don't exactly agree with that since I feel like I'm dying every day I don’t see my lover,” he says with a smile on his face though his eyes are dark and his chopping of the apples is audibly sharp as if to emphasize the point. “But your parents have been married for so long and have many children together and they still clearly love each other, so I trust them.”

The same parents who have been urging Ollie to make a move on you ever since Eris has been locked up, Ollie almost wants to add out of spite. Almost. Trust is truly a fragile commodity around these parts.

“Besides, I gotta stay away for a while,” Eris continues. “I didn’t realize the flies around my lover were devils.”

“Huh… How kind of you.” And out-of-character! The Eris he knew didn't care about consequences. What kind of sorcery have you casted on that beast of a weasel? Not that Ollie himself hasn't been bewitched somewhat, if he had to be honest…

Eris’s expression turns wicked with a condescending smirk. “Oh, right. You probably don’t understand ‘cause you haven’t fallen in love yet. My bad~ ” he teases.

One of Ollie’s eyes twitches. “I'll have you know-”

“That our Ollie has fallen in love~”

Eris turns and Ollie twists around to find Ollie's mother, who has appeared out of nowhere along with Ollie's father in tow.

“Mother!? Father!? What are you doing here?”

Ollie's mother pouts and places her hands on her hips. “We can't visit our son and his best friend?”

“Well, that's-”

“But anyway~” Ollie's mother waves her hand, cutting Ollie off. “Our dear Ollie has fallen in love, dear Eris. Unfortunately, it is…” She places a hand over heart and the other over her forehead in a dramatic pose with fluttering eyes. “A forbidden love,” she finishes. Ollie's father nods, placing a hand over his heart and looking forlorn to emphasize the drama.

“Again!? You two! Stop it!” Ollie pleads.

Eris crooks an eyebrow in disbelief. “Forbidden love? Ollie?”

Ollie turns back to Eris, fear in his wide eyes. He wouldn't call what he felt for you… “love” as his parents keep telling him, but… it might be… something close to it. Despite having the back of his head slammed against the wooden floor of your apartment, he still hasn't forgotten how your heavenly happy face made his heart skip a beat-

Ollie would be hard-pressed to call that “love”. It’s not! He barely knows you. It's like, uh, like admiring a beautiful piece of art, okay?? Art prompts feelings. That's what it's supposed to do!

But there's no possible way he could share and work out these feelings with Eris or anyone else without getting beat up or made fun of. Damn…

“It's not love!” Ollie insists.

Eris snorts. “Okay.”

Ding!

“Oh! My cake!” Eris chirps, forgetting about the other people in the room in favor of bringing out the cake and prepping the frosting and icing for when it cools down.

Ollie's mother wraps an arm around Ollie’s shoulder to keep him in place as she leans towards Ollie's ear and whispers behind a hand, “I see you've already made a move on our dear (Y/n). How devious~”

“What??” Ollie shouts in shock.

Eris looks over curiously. Blocking his view is Ollie’s father, who flops a hand up and down, as if to say, “Don't mind them.” The unsuspecting weasel nods in understanding before Ollie’s father points to the bowl of cream in Eris’s hands, which prompts Eris to explain the whole six month relationship milestone thing while the mother-and-son duo are scheming in the background.

Ollie's cheeks are being squished almost to the point of painful by his mother. “Since when have you decided to raise your voice at your mother?” she jokes menacingly before she releases his cheeks and drags him out of the basement. Once the door is closed, his mother crosses her arms with a pout. “What's with that reaction earlier, hm?”

Ollie only looks at her incredulously. “Mother! One, I'm not interested in-” He whispers, trying to avoid his voice from being picked up by the cameras in this house. “(Y/n) like that. And two, they’re Eris's lover. And three, I haven't made any kind of moves.”

“Eh?” She looks at him with confusion. “Well, first of all, there’s no ring so you still have a chance. Two, everyone knows, besides Eris, that you’re interested in them so might as well make your move. And three, how come you made the reservation for Eris and his lover if you’re not attending?” his mother asks.

Ollie's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't make any reservations for them. Did you?”

“No…?”

The two go back inside the basement and interrogate Eris, who is in the middle of deciding what color to make the frosting. Ollie’s father had been assisting with coming up with potential designs for the cake.

“Huh? I didn't make any dinner reservations?” Eris says. “Wait, are those devils letting me go?”

“No. But if you didn't make any reservations, then who is your lover going with?”

“You weren't joking?” Eris's voice goes shrill. His eyes panic jolt all over the place until a particular thought enters his mind. He slaps the palm of his hand against his forehead and groans.

Ollie notices, his own eyes widening in horror. “It's not who I think it is, right?”

“Ah, could it be?” Ollie's mother wonders aloud. Ollie's father tilts his head before his own eyes widen.

“DAMN IT!” Eris roars, slamming a fist on the counter before grabbing the knife and storming towards the door.

Ollie tries to stop him. “Eris, you can't-”

Eris sends the first door flying with one kick. The impact against the parallel wall shatters it instantly. It was only made of mahogany wood so it wouldn't have stood a chance anyway. The rest of the reinforced doors standing in Eris’s way, well…

WOOOO! WOOOO! WOOOO!

The alarm goes off, signaling to the May Devil's security team to come take down their most dangerous prisoner who's on his way to you.

Ollie pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why is it always the mahogany…”

#comfort #fluff #yandere oc #yandere male #cute yandere #soft yandere #yandere x reader #tsundere #tsundere x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #gn reader #deuxcherise collar crimes #deuxcherise writes

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ttcalzz · 1 month ago

Text

Doing this all at once!!

Warning ‼️ novel below

1. Stats

Cw: 143.5lbs 🥲

hw/sw: 165lbs 😧

ugw: 127lbs

2. Height: 5’ 8”. And I would say I do like my height!

I loveeee how small her waist is and how all around slim and toned she is!! She’s also my height so it makes pics of her even more motivating!

4. I really don’t wanna lose my ass 😭😭 I barely have one to begin with! Also I’m scared I’ll slow my metabolism down so I can’t maintain my ugw

5. I am losing weight for me. I want to lose weight because I’m tired of feeling a double chin when I look down, or having to wear “control top” (barf) leggings under skirts so they look right. I want to be totally confident and comfortable in the body I carve out for myself.

6. I do binge sometimes, mostly out of a sense of loss of control. When I’m really in a tailspin, and I can’t focus, food fills the void. I always feel worse.

7. My parents do not know! They know I’ve had an 3d “in the past” so I am keeping this very much under wraps

8. I don’t really have a routine per say, I just do whatever I feel like doing, but I usually do something like

- Clamshells (60 seconds each side)

- 80 squats

- 30 lunges (each side)

- bridges until failure for 2 sets and then pulse and hold until failure for one set

- 3 supersets of 10 reg crunches, 10 crunches w legs in an L shape, 10 crunches with legs straight up, and 15 leg raises.

- 10 pushups (as many standard as possible, then assisted/on knees)

- 60 second plank

- Stretching

9. Kinda. The earliest I can remember is being veryyy little in the pool with my little sister and her asking why my belly was bigger than hers. I didn’t even know what fat meant at that point but it hurt like hell. When I was a little older, I remember my grandma giving me advice on losing belly fat ☹️ like girl pls. My family has commented negatively on my weight loss before though, my dad is convinced I’m “super skinny” and “need to put some weight on”. I’m literally completely healthy?? Girl bffr.

10. The hardest thing? Probably how weak I feel. I know that’s just the way losing weight goes, and it does validate me, but I’ve always been rly strong so losing some of that muscle mass as I lose weight has been hard bc I can’t do as much as I was able to before. Planning to pack muscle on as much as possible anyways bc it makes you look skinnier

11. My fav th!nsp0 blog is probably @c0ke-zer0 , the stuff they post is so motivating 🥰

12. Lately, I’ve been drinking a lot of Fairlife protein shakes (chocolate flav my beloved) and eating saltines w hot sauce (I know it’s weird but it works). I also really enjoy salads, fruit, dumplings, rice, and 0 cal energy drinks. I will eat pretty much anything, I don’t really have fear foods, I just eat a very small portion and try to eat the most of whatever is lowest calorie/highest protein

13. I’m definitely not losing weight in a super healthy way, but it isn’t the worst? I’m hoping to actually maintain my UGW afterwards so I don’t wanna totally fuck my body up rn.

14. My ugw is around 125-130, I know weight fluctuates and my actual ugw is like 128 but it’s never gonna be exactly that every day. I’m hoping to reach it before the end of November! I only have like 13.5 lbs to go!!

15. Nope! I am not vegan or vegetarian, and I don’t think I could do either. Chicken and tuna are such good low cal/high protein foods, I could never give them up.

16. The first time I ever remembered really wanting to lose weight was when I was around 15? My best friend had an 3d and I remember googling it to see what it was and finding tumblr and…. It was all downhill from there 😭 can’t believe I’ve been dealing w this shit for so long bro I need to lose the weight and get tf out.

17. I am not diagnosed with any eating disorders butttt I definitely have disordered eating? If I were to get diagnosed it would probably be something along the lines of 4n@ or 0rthø

18. Anything salty and crunchy 🥹🥹 I will go through a whole bag of takis so fast it’s not even funny. Been avoiding chips as much as possible for this. Also candy if it’s just around? I used to have a really bad habit of just eating mindlessly. I don’t even have a sweet tooth idk why I wouldn’t just control myself. That’s not really any issue anymore tho

19. I work at a fast food-ish place, but I didn’t really eat my last shift so I guess it would have been about 2 weeks ago? Usually when I get something from there I steer clear of the “fast food” offerings and take a banana or a yogurt.

20. My favorite diet is high protein, under 1000 cals. After that idc, I try to eat more healthy than junk foods, but like I said I’ll pretty much take one bite of anything.

21. Clothing sizes

Pants: 4 💔

Shirt: small

Dress: small/medium

I always buy sweatshirts and stuff in xxxl sizes though.

22. My lowest weight was 138 lbs. it was right before a family vacation, so I couldn’t get away with not eating. I ended up gaining back some of the weight and then “recovering” aka gaining all the weight back only to be unhappy and come back to this.

23. Definitely!! I totally remember seeing magazines talking about how fat celebs were and at 10 years old thinking “but I look like that” and generally growing up, skinnier was prettier and better always.

24. i think it’s disgusting. Pr04n4 content is what made me develop this 3d in the first place. It’s one thing to post abt your struggles and seek community, it’s a whole other thing to glorify it and try to make OTHERS sicker???

25. Yes, I have purged before. I don’t do it often. But the first time i was 16 and my family had gotten Taco Bell, I ate like 2.5 burritos and felt sick with myself so I threw up in my trashcan bag and threw it away outside. Horrible memory.

26. I’m so excited to be confident in my skin!! And look great in all the outfit ideas I have planned 🥹 I also can’t wait to have a partner but I don’t see that happening until I lose this weight. When that does happen, I love being picked up and carried or tossed around, so being light enough that it isn’t a burden for my partner. I also can’t wait to have someone pick me up and go “omg you’re so light” or hug me and say “you feel so skinny, did you lose weight??

27. Honestly it doesn’t bother me too much, I work around food all the time so I just sorta go into a work mindset: look, touch, don’t eat. Food is for preparing, food is for serving to others, food is not for eating.

28. Not necessarily! I think it looks nice on a body type with wide enough hips, but on me I think i would have to be skinnier than I want to be in order to have one. Besides that (VERY CONTROVERSIAL) I don’t mind bigger thighs BECAUSEEE they support ass 🫡

29. For me, beauty is when someone or something is fully expressing itself to all it can be. A performance, a flower bloom, a genuine laugh. It doesn’t really matter what those things look like, as long as they form that direct bridge to the soul and show a glimpse of yourself to the world.

30. 10 facts about myself

- I can’t stand cucumber or celery

- I’m in school for psychology

- my birthday is soon!!

- I do art

- I have one younger sister and she’s my world

- I have 2 pets! A cat and a dog

- I love blue and green

- my eyes are brown

- im in multiple f4nd0ms (c3ns0r3d so this doesnt come across n0rm4l túmbIř

- I had a hardcore middleschool emo/kpop phase (yes at the same time)

#⭐️rving #anabllrr #4nor3xia #tw skipping meals #⭐️ ing motivation #3d memes #tw 3d shit #tw disordered thoughts #light as a feather #@na dairy #@na shit #@na motivation #tw thinspi #thiinspp #thin$po #thinps0 #tt talks 💛

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sburbisk-webcomic · 1 month ago

Text

[Installer Ready.]

Melody sleeps in on Thursday. The extra rest nicely helps her recover from the previous day. Movie night with Stratus ran a bit later than expected. She rolls out of bed, taking her time to get dressed and use the bathroom. SHe checks her phone; her friends are offline. The tracking page for her game disc is slow to load. Once it finally shows page content, she sees her copy has been delivered.

M: Wow, that was exceptionally fast.

She slides into her flip flops and ventures outside to check the mailbox. Sure enough, therein contains a small bubble mailer, a grocery ad, and a spam credit card offer.

Melody sits at her desk and opens the package along the perforated strip. She can’t help but laugh; the game case is a translucent blue clamshell which appears to have been harvested from either a BluRay movie or a PS4 game. The cover is seriously printer paper: a photocopy of the colored pencil logo, and the title.

——– 0 – – 0 ——– 0 – – 0 ———->

Our next midterm taker, Miss Nova, sits at her computer, staring angrily at her updated gradesheet. On her way in from class, she picked up the post to find her bubble mailer alongside some spam mail and the weekly paper. She tosses the game disc on her desk, unimpressed by the photocopied cover art. Suddenly, she hears a notification sound, pulling her out of her grumpy stupor. An unexpected sender.

MESSAGE FROM dreamscrollBunni

dB: Hey. My game came in the mail this morning. Plats said yours was stuck at the KC processing place too, so I wondered if yours had arrived as well.

gD: Yeah, it’s sitting on my desk. I don’t know why Clouds was pissing himself over the cover art. Looks pretty lame to me.

dB: what’s got you in such a mood

dB: midterms not going well?

gD: ugh, yeah. My stupid Mozart appreciation professor gave me a C+. He’s so particular about the short answer questions.

gD: Like, I really do Not give a donkey’s left nut about why Symphony No. seven hundred thirteen is so unique compared to his other practically fucking identical half hour long piano concertas.

dB: 🙁 that sucks

dB: but at least you still passed.

dB: The boys wanna do movie night tomorrow, then the game on Saturday. You’re still joining to watch with us, right?

gD: Sure, I guess. It’ll take my mind off things.

gD: Do you know what we’re watching? Clouds told me he’s hosting and he’s got a ton of pirated movies.

dB: Not yet, I think the plan was to get everyone on the call, and then choose together?

dB: He actually has a separate hard drive just for movies. We watched Twilight the other day. His setup runs pretty smoothly.

gD: I suppose I’ll have to tune in and see for myself what all the fuss is about. The code he uses for that Core-ana thing is so simplistic I’m surprised it even works. (implied manicure emoji)

dB: yeah, apparently it works so well his robotics professor gave him the rest of the week off after he gave his presentation.

dB: He got extra points on the accessibility features.

gD: Oh, whoop-dee-do, Mr Droidskull is talented at being a complete fucking assclown.

gD: I’m gonna try to install this stupid game.

——– 0 – – 0 ——– 0 – – 0 ———->

After a particularly long series of multiple choice questions that show even the professor’s overwhelming boredom with obligatory midterm structure, Mr Baker returns to his room. He sets down his backpack and proceeds to f l o p onto his nicely made bed. The weight of tests finally gone, merely a few minutes pass before drool is seeping onto his pillow.

. . . . . .

A quick series of skûpe bleeps stirs him from his rest. Bleary and unencumbered by immediate responsibility, he sees a stack of notifications and decides to go check them out.

MESSAGES FROM cloudsDroidborg.

cD: yo

cD: trophy boy

cD: Mister Platinums, Sir,

cD: we have ladies to entertain.

cD: (get ur ass up it’s movie night)

pH: shit, sorry

pH: I passed out after I got back from my tests this morning.

pH: The girls are in the call already?

cD: indeed they are

cD: they said they wanna see us mid-oil wrestling before the movie starts so get your WD-40

pH: I mean, vaseline might be more appropriate, but I’ll be prepared nonetheless ;)

——– 0 – – 0 ——– 0 – – 0 ———-> Stratus sits at his computer, waiting for our last hero to join the group call. He has his movie library open, and amidst the chaos of comments about most of the file names being “illegal movie bunch of numbers,” a bleepbûp indicates Baker has joined the call.

pH: Hey

cD: Alright now we can get this party started.

gD: Hello.

dB: Hiiiii!! I don’t think we’ve been in a call together before.

pH: That sounds right. Movie night was my idea by the way.

cD: yeah i don’t think anyone wants to jump straight into organizing a four-player fiasco right now

gD: Stratus, you didn’t tell me he’s hot,

cD: didn’t find it relevant, thanks.

dB: I figured it went without saying, teehee

pH: Ladies, Please. I thought we came here to see Stratus/Baker oil wrestling, not an unfair catfight.

cD: OOOOHHHHHHHH,,,

gD: I did bring the Yaoi.

dB: not gonna lie, Strat’s pretty muscled he might win

cD: MELODY,,,

dB: it’s true

gD: I hate to admit, she’s right.

pH: Okay, there’s no way that lightweight motherfucker could beat me at nude oil wrestling, he’s half my size

cD: hey man, you never know, last I checked, my agility stat is pretty fuckin high, you might have more muscle mass but once it’s all slippery? The bulk would put you at an obvious disadvantage against my raw grace.

gD: I dunno, Stratus, if he’s so strong he might be able to pin even your weaselly ass.

dB: oh, no, there’s a lot of power behind the ballerine moveset.

cD: okay, okay, we’re here to watch a movie, not take bets on who tops

gD: L M A O,,

dB: what are we watching then

pH: fuck’s sake dude, look at that scroll bar

cD: yeah, I thought about just randomizing it, grab the scroll bar and yank it then just click on something.

gD: There’s a fair chance we wouldn’t know what we’re watching until it plays, his file names are atrocious.

dB: I know the franchises are grouped in folders at least, so that could help narrow it down.

pH: yeah I’m not ready for a Harry Awful marathon

cD: OKAY fuck off, the nostalgia of Harry And His Chamber of Pure Plot Convenience almost outweighs the shee unwatchability of-

gD: Single Titles Only, Please.

dB: and just movies, not a TV show

pH: That should narrow down the selection significantly

gD: I would prefer not to watch a four hour Marvel Special Effects Extravaganza

pH: Talking shit on Marvel now?

gD: I have no issue with superhero films, aside from their obvious lack of depth. I meant something shorter than a daytrip. I had a pretty long day.

cD: a fair consideration

pH: “obvious lack of depth,”

cD: so we don’t want to watch Pearl Harbor or Braveheart or Titanic. Any specific suggestions? I might have it even if it’s totally off the wall.

dB: something lighthearted

cD: let’s scroll through it and see if anything catches our attention.

After a while longer of sorting through a massive library of titles and poorly named files, including a few that won’t play or have dogshit audio quality, our group settles on a comedy of reasonable runtime. They watch without much incident, a few crude comments about “musclecakes” and “WOW the BAZONKERS on that one,” and typical peanut gallery shenanigans. The credits roll and Stratus leaves them running while he begins to make more formalized plans for their game tomorrow.

cD: so, Baker already got SBUrbisk installed. I gave it a go and it told me all four copies have to be up and running before the game can successfully connect.

gD: I tried it last night, thought my PC was gonna crash once it got halfway. It hung on that last bar for ages.

dB: I haven’t installed mine yet, I was waiting for after movie night.

pH: okay, so it wasn’t just my computer having a fucken heatstroke

cD: shit made mine smell like the back of a PS3 trying to run a remaster, bro

dB: should I be worried about this dinosaur? If it made your all’s computers go wonky I’m wondering if mine can handle it.

gD: You should be fine, I’m not exactly running a game-ready setup over here. It calmed down after the loading bar got three-fourths or so.

cD: Yeah, the interface looks ancient. i’m not sure why it activates the jet engines.

dB: Is it okay if I wait til tomorrow to run this? I don’t want my laptop catching on fire while I’m asleep.

pH: Good call there. It does take a long time though. Mine didn’t even finish until Stratus got his installed.

dB: That’s … weird.

cD: yeah, that should be fine. What time are we thinking, since we’re all in different timezones?

gD: I’m sleeping in tomorrow, don’t expect me online before 2pm at the earliest.

pH: same

dB: same. We could do it after dinner?

cD: okay but you have dinner super late, and Baker is three hours ahead of you.

dB: fair enough. I can do like, 4, if that works for y’all.

cD: (oh my god she said y’all that’s so cute in her west coast)

pH: works for me, seven my time.

gD: six for me and Stratus

cD: works for me. Nova, your copy’s installed?

gD: Yup. I closed it after it finished the install, as far as I know it’s ready to go.

cD: so that leaves Melody’s to install, and we’re ready to rock and roll.

dB: since it takes so long to install, I’ll put the disc in before we get started.

cD: hell yeah. That’s everything sorted then.

gD: I’m gonna head to bed if that’s cool with you guys.

pH: yeah, go get some sleep.

dB: have a good night!

cD: don’t forget to tuck your guitar in lmao

gD: fuck you, Cloudswallop. Goodnight, everyone.

pH: . . . jesus, what happened between you two?

cD: trust me, you don’t wanna know

dB: Cmon, Stratus, you had to claw your way out of her grip like a weak rat from a boa/

pH: What The Fuck Happened???

cD: Bro, she was so mean to me I didn’t speak for like eight months. good to see she hasn’t changed a bit, ugh.

pH: jeez. If it was that bad I’m glad you got away from it.

dB: of course, she’s perfectly friendly to everyone else. He’s mine now though c: (sips drink)

pH: He seems much happier

cD: yeah, cause Melody knows how to take care of her man, if you know what I’m sayin

dB: Stratus!

pH: oh, so it was that sort of issue,

dB: don’t let him downplay it like that

cD: oh it went well beyond her pussy aversion

pH: y i k e s

cD: A n y w a y s,, Byod’s buggin me to take him out, I’m gonna get off here and get some sleep.

dB: aww, gnight Stratus! Message me after you’re done with the dog, ok?

cD: you got it.

pH: Have a good night, man. See you guys tomorrow.

cD: see you tomorrow. gnight y’all.

[ next chapter ==> ]

#mspfa #sburbisk #upd8 #chapter five #writing this call was super fun #and if anyone if actually reading this let me know if theres a way i can improve the formatting #thinking about making it its own website just for the fuck of it cause i know tumblr probably wont be around forever #plus the start here button isnt available on mobile so thats fucking annoying

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ashen-crest · 1 year ago

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May Updates! Or something!

The past two months have been a bit of a whirlwind. In April, I wrote a full draft 1 of The Spirit Well, and this month I wrote a draft 1 of A Captured Cauldron.

(Not that impressive- both are garbage drafts, and are very short. ACC, for example, clocks in at just under 40k.)

I wanted to finish ACC a bit early so I had time at the end of this month to read, draw, and plan out draft 2 of The Spirit Well, which I’ll tackle in June!

I learned a ton of things about my writing process from doing this- I’ll put them under the cut. I’m mainly writing it out for myself, but if it helps anyone else, that’s cool too!

TSW

I started draft 0 back in November, then went through an annoying cycle of partial drafting and re-outlining. I thought the starting and stopping was me finding problems earlier and fixing them, but instead, it was only causing frustration. Now I know just to get the full draft completed the first time.

ACC

For this draft, I did commit to writing the whole thing, but I didn’t outline or prep in my usual way. Instead of my chart outline and character sheets, I just went in with a rough bullet point outline and a vague idea on what the new characters should be like.

Like with the partial drafts for TSW, this didn’t really pan out. I had to go back and make my chart outline about halfway in, and not having a good grasp on the characters meant I couldn’t take a good stab at forming the arcs in this draft. I would’ve benefitted from fleshing out my outline and doing some character exploration before writing this draft.

The problem with months

I usually structure my goals/stages in terms of months. I’ll take a month to draft, then switch to another wip, then revise, then give a month for beta readers, etc.

But it doesn’t leave any wiggle room for reading or letting all the wips rest or writing short stories! So I need to figure that out a bit. I’m loathe to delay release dates, because I already don’t have any book to release until March 2024 (and that one’s TSW, the more difficult of the two.) But I’m also not dependent on the income from new releases, so…I really shouldn’t feel bad about it. Idk.

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nordic-language-love · 2 years ago

Photo

2023 Goals

2023 is going to be an exciting year of change for me. I’ll have a new job in a new country and I don’t really know what the future holds. So I don’t really know how much language studying I’ll be able to realistically do. I don’t know how much time I’ll have, I don’t know how time zones will affect my studying (Norwegian italki lessons may not be possible anymore). But I’m going to set a few goals anyway!

Japanese Goals

1) Reach a pre-intermediate level in Japanese

This is my primary goal for 2023. I’m going to be in Japan and I don’t intend to waste the opportunity to use as much Japanese as possible! I want to focus mostly on speaking and listening comprehension rather than studying kanji/reading for now, as I’ll need those more. Maybe in the latter half of the year of next year I’ll shift my focus to reading comprehension/writing.

Intermediate level would be awesome, but I don’t want to set my hopes too high. N4 (CEFR A2) is all I really expect to get to even with full immersion, but maybe I could get close to N3 if I really push myself. We’ll see! I’m currently around N5 (just about) I’d say.

2) Finish Japanese Short Stories For Beginners

I’ve read I think 7/20? It’d be great to finish all of them by the end of the year! Who knows, maybe by that point I won’t need to English translation at all (I can dream lmao)

3) Have a Japanese conversation class on italki without using English at all

This is a bit of an ambitious goal, but I’m setting it anyway. At the moment I frequently have to ask my tutors to break down sentences and explain certain words in English. But I’m so determined to get good at Japanese, especially seeing as I’ll be living in Japan!

Norwegian Goals

1) Maintain my B2/C1 level in Norwegian

Given I’ll be in Japan, I won’t be focusing so much on Norwegian the way I have in previous years. However, I’m not planning on throwing away all the progress I made! So I’m hoping to engage with the language a little every day, be it writing a journal or watching the news or reading an article. I’m planning to download some Norwegian ebooks onto my Kobo before I head off too.

2) Learn more idioms and natural ways of speaking

At the moment I still feel like my language is quite clunky. I can say more or less what I want to express, but I’d love to learn to speak in a more colourful way.

3) Write 10,000 words of fiction

In 2020 I nearly hit 15K. In 2021 it was around 7.5K. In 2022 it was 0. It was such a great way to learn and practise new vocabulary and I had fun doing it, so I’d love to try doing it again!

4) Finish reading 5 books in Norwegian

At the moment I’m reading Tante Ulrikkes Vei, so that’ll be book #1. The others I have lined up are:

Gode Varsler - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman (Good Omens)

Hver Gang Du Forlater Meg - Linnéa Myhre

Flaggermusmannen - Jo Nesbø

Rødstrupe - Jo Nesbø

If it goes well, I’ll increase this goal.

Non-language goals

1) Improve my overall flexibility

I used to be super bendy and I really miss it! Given I’ll actually have a semi-regular schedule when I’m in Japan and I won’t be able to pole, I should be able to build a stretching habit. I’ll write more about some specific goals over on my sideblog @jo-jenova

2) Read 15 books

I’ve read disappointingly little this year. I’ve got into the habit of starting books, getting 50-ish pages in and then abandoning them. I’m not entirely sure what’s blocking me, but I feel like if I set myself a goal of finishing books, that might encourage me to push beyond that initial sticking point and build a habit of reading. I also have a new ereader, so hopefully that’ll motivate me to actually read!

3) Journal regularly

I used to journal more or less daily, but since I reached about A2 in Norwegian I’ve not really journalled in English because it felt like a waste of time. Why journal in a language I can already speak when I could be practising my target language? But I feel like it really helped me with writing, and I miss being able to write! So I’d like to get back into journalling in English, not just my target languages.

4) Learn new fans techniques (?)

I’ve not decided yet if I’ll take my fans with me to Japan or not (depends on how much space I have in my luggage!), but if I do, I’d like to spend some time building my techniques repertoire. Last year I set myself the goal of learning the following techniques:

Perfect antispin flowers

Simple body tracing patterns

Reels and weaves

Let’s see what happens this year!

~*~

That’s a lot of goals! But hopefully they’ll keep me focused. I’m feeling positive - I’m so ready to get back on track with my self-improvement journey! Let’s make 2023 a great year :D

#2023 goals #langblr

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vespertin-y · 2 years ago

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here’s part two of my ch2 liveblog! motive video time :0

-there being actual interviews with the student’s loved ones is v cool and i’m forever mad it only happens in kaito’s video!!

-”y-yeah! why gonta get tsumugi’s video-” y’know, i really do wonder what was in that.

-”don’t get the wrong idea. i’m not saying we shouldn’t care about killing or dying...but i think it’d be better if we didn’t cooperate with each other...actually, we *definitely* shouldn’t cooperate with each other!” “we shouldn’t cooperate? why not!?” “think back to all of monokuma’s actions so far. whenever we tried to work together, monokuma would retaliate with a plan to make us suffer. it happened when kaede wanted us to cooperate, and again with these motive videos, right? which means, the more we try to cooperate, the more he’ll try to make us suffer.” god i really forgot how often early game kokichi just. Explains Things. he is shockingly honest in some of these scenes.

-even MORE interestingly, we get a little insight into why shuichi is kind of just...ignoring kokichi’s warnings: [it’s *because* we’re trying to cooperate that monokuma is making us suffer...? but what about...everything we went through..? what was the point of kaede sacrificing herself...?] deep down, i think he knows kokichi is right about monokuma. but he’s already made a promise! the reason he doesn’t pull away from the group like kokichi is because of kaede’s wish. he has a responsibility to make her death *mean* something - he feels like he killed her, after all.

-they did one of kirumi’s FTEs! the most important things i took from it are a) shuichi and kirumi have an absolutely terrible dynamic where shuichi tries to get kirumi to take care of herself, kirumi firmly refuses, and shuichi just...wilts under the pressure and lets her keep going, and b) shuichi said he prefers tea over coffee, i fucking told u so.

-they did one of miu’s next and just. just fuckigf look at this dialogue: “i call this baby the “hookup counter”! it counts how many people you’ve fucked! or how many have fucked you!” “d-don’t point that at me!” “too late! let’s see the result, shall we? HAH-HAHAHA! no fuckin’ way! you kiddin’ me!?” [what did it say? what did it say!?] SHUICHI WHY DON’T YOU KNOW. DON’T JUST MOVE ON TO THE UNDERWEAR TELEPORTER I HAVE QUESTIONS GODAMNIT!!!

-ok we got to the bit where shuichi says “...i wouldn’t eat that greasy food even if they threatened to kill me.” and u know what? He’s Right. i completely forgot how much mayonnaise was on that kimchi, absolutely horrific.

-kaito smacking the doorbell one billion times remains iconic.

-”what are you doing up at this hour?” “nyeeeh...well, just thinking. but it’s pretty late now. hmm, i think i’ll sleep well tonight. if i knew it’d be like this...i woulda had her undo my brainwashing a long time ago.” hey just for the record if anyone tells you everyone is brainwashed except for them and their group: Run.

-it’s clear you’re meant to laugh at shuichi here, but fifty push-ups is actually pretty impressive!? i can barely manage one......

-”when i look at you...i can’t help but feel frustrated. i ask myself...is the one kaede entrusted her wish to really this weak?” and here we see the beginning of kaito’s jealousy toward shuchi! it’s such an important part of his arc, and it frustrates me that so few people talk about it beyond his blowup in ch4. he admired kaede, and deep down he’s pissed that she chose shuichi to carry her wish instead of him, because *he’s* supposed to be the hero! he cares about shuichi, sure, but i think a lot of the sidekick bit is more about him wanting to feel like a savior. he’s big-hearted, but also has a strong tendency toward self-centeredness. he’s a lot like kokichi in that way.

-kaito is already “slacking” during the first training session, so he probably has the disease already. i wonder if he had it through ch1, or if it’s more recent?

-[i worked out for the first time in a long while...] so he did use to work out! if i had to guess, i’d say he probably stopped during his depressive episode after the murder case,,,still, it makes him reaching fifty push-ups make more sense.

-that’s the end of day seven! i’ll see you guys next time :]

#anyway the lesson to take away from this is that shuichi can GET IT #dr #mem liveblogs

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notjustwords1 · 6 months ago

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Wellp

I am going to try to explain my current situation to myself of the future. It became alright to speak in English again.

It has been some … difficult, harsh, dark, stormy months as you know but… I think I am able to say I am alright again. Not happy but just alright, I still don’t let myself be happy.

We became more honest and fearless and we should be proud of it but it’s like I don’t care about my personal archievments because I feel like I’m just reaching what I should have reached a lot of time ago and it’s not enough to make me feel proud of myself.

She’s with another guy that as far as I know it’s enough for her, and as I predicted, I am happy for her, I don’t feel the slightest pain for losing her in the other part I feel grateful for being someone who has expirenced such a genuine love, it’s like her getting with another guy was the last test to this love

and now I can undoubtedly say that I have felt the purest form of love for someone. To the point that I only wanted her to be happy, and if she is I feel happy too.

I’ll continue later**

0:31 next day

Well, as I was saying, it’s a loop I’ll never break unless I do what should have been done long time ago I guess.

She’s happy, or at least better, and our story has come to an end.

I surely think about those times in my life when I’m in my final breaths.

Right now, as I write this, I feel really suicidal and insane. This hate is unbearable, this hate for me. I wish I was anyone else.

I only hope to stay like this for the rest of my life until I can take it anymore, I don’t wanna be happy, I don’t want solace, I just want to blaze.

But I’ll keep this text as a “time capsule” for me or anyone who cares enough about me to read this message.

I met that girl that caught my eyes since last year, we now call her Rozy. She is so nice, understanding, kind, femenine, worried, sad, pervert, hot, lovely and sweet. I love her so much in this little time, I think I have gained a relationship for the rest of my life, like even if we fall apart, I will look for her no matter how many years have passed just to check how things are going for her. I really love her, but we weren’t made… well I still don’t really know but I think she deserves better, and she’s so free that it would be a pitty to put her in a cage. If you ever read this, know you’ll have a friend for ever, kochanie.

We have kissed and more, still haven’t fucked tho, but I don’t feel alright being her boyfriend, and I think I’m hurting her being “just friends” so I think is better for us to part ways but I’m so dumb and he have made a lot of future plans that if now we part ways, they’ll become into bittersweet memories.

I don’t know what to do

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binders-and-beanies · 7 months ago

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Mental health updates under the cut I guess (tldr I’m still not ok but am taking steps to keep myself safe or whatever)

Told my supervisor I’m in crisis and he was super understanding n supportive n whatnot. We both are trans and have mental health issues and work in an lgbt center so one would hope it’s safe to be honest abt that kind of thing but it was a relief bc it also opened up a conversation abt scheduling moving forward n me having like 2 or 3 days off a week as opposed to the current 1 or 0. Esp since higher ups want me to work less anyways im like that’s totally fine bc i have a million things to do outside of work all the time.

Other thing I did was cancel a workshop I was gonna lead next week and it was a really hard decision. I would have been proud afterwards and I’m worried abt having regrets but I’ve done the same workshop before so it’s off the bucket list or whatev. Person in charge of that was also super supportive for similar reasons as above. It doesn’t solve the problem of there always being too many things stressing me out, and I don’t wanna set a precedent that I can just not do my responsibilities, but it eases a big part of the stress this month specifically.

Ppl in my life are saying they’re proud of me for setting that boundary and it’s weird to be praised for bailing on smth when I’m also feeling big guilty abt it but I gotta remind myself that being flakey is absolutely normalized in society and if ur average person can do so on the regular then I’m allowed to take One step back once it’s gotten to the point where my safety is questionable. I’d like to get to a point where things don’t get that serious in the first place but I’ve also never rly appreciated feeling blamed for being in this kind of position when the kind of things I’m busy with are mostly 1) things that are required for survival and 2) things that make it feel worth surviving. As if this is smth i do to myself bc i just <3 capitalism or smth

Im stressin tho bc as mentioned earlier my job is at risk for unrelated reasons which also means a lot of other things are at risk. This is happening at the same time I’ve just lost my insurance and have my biggest ever college bill to pay. And now I don’t know where I’ll be living or what that will mean for my finances either. It would also mean it takes even longer to qualify for any kind of credit, and therefore an apartment.

Even if nothing happens and I just keep working here for another year as planned it’s like can I not get JUMPSCARED w my livelihood being threatened like there’s literally always at least one Huge actual life or death problem as well as many other less catastrophic but extremely stressful things to deal w. I’m tired of living like that w no relief and I hate that the best case scenario is this fear ends up being for nothing. I hate that I’m thinking abt what I’ll do in x y or z scenario for this summer and my masters if this falls through, instead of enjoying the relief of one less thing on my plate.

I hate that this is how I’m doing the day after my birthday. I had a fun birthday weekend and am grateful for the people I spent it with and the places I went but it didn’t feel like genuine celebration it felt forced, like I was doing it because I Have to have a good birthday. Bc if one of the most important days of the year isn’t joyful then where’s the hope of any other days getting better. I did enjoy it I just couldn’t Feel the enjoyment bc I’m so stressed and I had major breakdowns before and after my bday. It sets a bad tone regarding aging and I want to celebrate progress but it’s hard when the future is more terrifying every year.

I feel like even if all my problems were magically solved, my ability to feel joy is permanently altered and it’s hard to imagine feeling anything more positive than just like, relief and rest. Idk I say all that to say I’m proud of myself for taking steps to make life more livable just like I’ve always done but it also feels kinda hopeless like nothing I do matters if it’s gonna be constant stress regardless

#mine #txt #personal

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starrwulfe · 8 months ago

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Last Week Today! S2024E7

🤦‍♂️ OK, I skipped out on hella posts for this category. I know, I know… I’ll backfill them later, but I really hadn’t done much of anything noteworthy I guess so there wasn’t the motivation to post one of these… Which is not the point of course, so I’ll just shut up and get on with this installment. Just watch out for the backfills if you’re keeping up with this on the socials or RSS or email or whatever.

🩺 I had my yearly physical exam, and it went well except for the one note under intensive fasting glucose being 101mg/dL which to make a long story short, prompted my doctor to admonish me about getting enough exercise or else worry about diabetes being a thing. Other than that, I’m just as healthy as ever.

🏋️ It’s no secret that since returning Stateside from Japan, I haven’t really been getting enough exercise, walks, runs, all that jazz and have low-key been stressed and a bit depressed. I have zero motivation to go to a gym; I don’t like doing routines so much to begin with, but I really don’t like being in a room with total strangers trying to figure out how to make my body do stuff to burn fat. It literally makes me even more stressed out than just jogging/riding a bike by myself. SuperWife and I had been going to the gym together at first, but her job changed, and our schedules fell out of alignment for that; I lost my motivation about a year later and here we are. I tried going to the little gym in my area, but my job no longer subsidizes gym membership, and probably more influential, the guy that runs it keeps asking me to join a “boot camp” class. I don’t want to join shit, I don’t want to be around people, leave me the fsck alone, I’m already anxious as hell just being there. So I stopped going.

🚲️ Excuses aside, I’m just gonna go and buy myself a bike and do what I used to do overseas that kept me fit in the first place. I used to cycle all over the place. I can’t walk or take trains like I did there but I’m going to try to at least bike around here and get out more. Did you know I once went almost a whole week without leaving my house a few months ago? (Working from home has its downsides too!) I miss Japan for my social life and urban living more than anything; it kept me on the “life gym” plan where my mind and body constantly got a workout every day without effort. Just living my daily JapanLife kept me fit. Now I actually have to actively work on it. I appreciate any tips on keeping motivated and healthy from y’all out there reading this please.

🚸 Moving on, the kids are doing well. I just realized we’ll have 0 mini-mes that will be in elementary school after this school year. Little Monkey will be a middle schooler. When dafuq did my cute little simian who learned to climb up my back like a ladder and sit on my shoulders get to be on the precipice of teenagedom?

🚗 At the other end of the scale, The Big One just passed her written Drivers Exam and is now permitted. I really wasn’t ready for this one. It’s not like she’s chomping at the bit to drive (kinda opposite actually – she frequently takes our fledgling bus system around here) but it’s always good to have another driver in the family in case something happens. I wish I had the cheddar to get a hoopty for her and Boy-Type (he’ll be at a permittable age this time next year 😨) to drive… But even if I did, we can’t afford the insurance on a 16 year old right now I’m sure.

🎨 Speaking of Boy-Type, his drawing skills are getting very good. Fingers crossed for him to be the next Akira Toriyama or Hayao Miyazaki. I’ll settle for him just being that guy that paints to cool murals in trendy shopping plazas and shops like his uncle does back in Tokyo. Getting paid to do what you like to do is the shit. One of the classes at the arts high school he’ll need to pay attention in is Creative Business Management. I hope he soaks it all up when the time comes.

🦸‍♀️ SuperWife is out here doing her thing and will attend a intensive technical training bootcamp style class this summer since she’ll have more time for that while the school district is on summer break. I think she’d make a great tech support technician or level 1 project lead; her time management is better than mine and that’s always been half the job for me. I can’t wait to have crazy “vim vs emacs” type discussions with her. LOL

🏁 Lastly, I’m looking forward to spring, warmer temps, and getting back out in the RV. We’re set to head down to Jacksonville, Florida for a few days during the first week of April and I can’t wait. I love being on the road with the tribe and I feel we’re at our best together out in the world exploring like this. We’ve hit daylight savings already and 25ºC/80ºF was hit for the first time last week too. Just gotta hang on a bit longer to shake these winter doldrums!

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